I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Farmville is her only friend.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
