I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
