So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I look better un-naked...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
