How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
