How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
