Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
