I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
