I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
