If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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