i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
