Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
