oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
