Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
