It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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