Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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