Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
