I love black thongs
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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