shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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