I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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