You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
