Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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