It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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