youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Success! We fucked roommates!
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