Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
