Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
