OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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