Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
