margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
