The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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