my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I know her cup size but not her name....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
