your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
