Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
