All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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