wat bout pragnant strippers??
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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