dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
