Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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