Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
