careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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