That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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