Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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