he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
