2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
