we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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