You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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