I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
