seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
