Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
