have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
