yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
