I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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